Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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