He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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