Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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