I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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