Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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