I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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