I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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