it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
