U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
