I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
