She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
