Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
