Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry JLee_22Sask hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(647): View more from Ontario

she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

If i need to get strippers involved i will.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.

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(940): View more from Texas

An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic

Fav 3 2567 1996
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(+61): View more from Australia

Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!

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