I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
