I wanna bring you to show and tell
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
