WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he fucked my hip out of place.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
