He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Randomize
