Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
