if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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