look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Couch. On fire.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
