Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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