How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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