is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
