dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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