I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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