Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
