that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays