K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
