How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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