the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
This house was built for laser tag.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
