Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My liver is preforming stress tests.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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