your parents love me but you hate me
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
