its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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