The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My vagina just recognized that song.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
