He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
