I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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