how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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