Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
