love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
