I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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