i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
