best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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