A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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