Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
