Acid is not a monday night drug
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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