nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
