i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
