I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
