so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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