OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
this will be a night to untag.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Randomize
