you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
