I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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