it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
