Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
