Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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