I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
someone owes me an orgasm
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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