So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
