Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
