Cold hands, warm shart.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
