She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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