Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
