Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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