I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
