he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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