bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
