I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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