For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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