So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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