why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
