I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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