Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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